Do you consider yourself to be a tough rider, or a tender one? No one is completely one or the other. Different situations elicit strengths and weakness to emerge in people. The challenge is to first know yourself well, then ask yourself how you can move along the toughness continuum. You don’t need to throw yourself into the fire to get tougher, just make a habit of going a little bit further than you are used to and over time you’ll find your strength increasing.

A group of teachers enjoying a leadership workshop at Spirit Gate Farms in Victoria, BC, have the task of moving a loose horse. One man takes an aggressive lead as he focuses on a young Arabian mare called Grace. The two women in the group are uncomfortable about the man’s approach but say little and follow his lead. They apply pressure to Grace’s back to get her to move. The horse braces, refusing to budge. By now the man is flustered, the women are not feeling emotionally safe, and group unity is failing.

“My mind was a constant jumble of competing thoughts at shows,” says Amy, a junior dressage rider. “I would be trying to sort through them, just getting more and more nervous. But when I developed my guiding phrase it helped me immensely. I now repeat ‘enjoy and shine’ over and over as I warm up. It brings me back to my important things, which are to have fun and to show off the skills I have worked so hard to perfect. It really works for m

Then he was mine for forty-five minutes or so, way past my initially allotted ten minutes. Thankfully, it turns out Ian loved to talk about his mental game. I think everyone can learn something from what Canada’s most successful rider had to say about the psychology of his ride.