Sometimes, the fastest way to change something in your horse is to focus on yourself.

By Annika McGivern, MSc, Sport and Exercise Psychology

During a clinic I taught last year in Ireland, a rider entered the ring on an extremely tense horse. Head in the air, tight back, I’m sure you can picture it. As I watched this rider warm up, I could see she was doing her best to relax the horse with little success. I asked her to let go of thinking about her horse for a few minutes and focus on her breathing instead. Over the next three to five minutes, we watched the mare change. Her head lowered, her back softened, and her step got longer and more fluid. 

Horse people are often great pursuers of learning. We learn a little about a lot to ensure our horses’ well-being, safety, and soundness. We take clinics to learn multiple perspectives and approaches to training. We eagerly seek out knowledge on feeding, hay, shoeing, trimming, and trailering. We hire many types of professionals to give us insight into our horses’ mental and physical experience. And yet, despite this interest in learning, we often neglect developing our knowledge of one of the most important influences over our horse and outcomes: ourselves!

Related: Navigating Stress and Emotions for Success at a Horse Show

What is self-knowledge, and why does it matter?

Self-knowledge is the information we use to answer the question: Who am I? This type of knowledge is gained through an interest in self-discovery, the process of seeking to understand yourself more clearly and completely. Riders can use their self-knowledge to manage themselves more skilfully in the saddle. Knowing key pieces of information about yourself, such as emotional triggers, patterns of self-talk, and personal beliefs, can increase self-confidence, emotional intelligence, your ability to regulate your nervous system (i.e., manage your response to fear and stress), and your ability to learn effectively.

Recognize which situations trigger you to have negative emotional reactions and lose focus. By learning to be mindful of the emotions that adversely impact your riding, you can find a different perspective and a calmer, more positive response. Photo: Shutterstock/Rolf Dannenberg

In my work with equestrians as a mental performance consultant, I have observed that when asked, few equestrians can easily call to mind important information about themselves such as values, purpose, strengths, limitations, emotional triggers, patterns of self-talk, and personal beliefs that form the foundation for confidence, motivation, and consistent progress. The tendency to focus almost entirely on the horse is common in most horse sports. Because of this, many equestrians don’t develop the habit of considering themselves as an athlete or even as an important part of the picture. We usually approach problems by trying to change something in the horse instead of first considering if anything can be changed in ourselves. These cultural norms can be an obstacle to developing self-knowledge in the context of equestrian sport.

Related: Developing the Best Learning Environments for Riders and Horses

Related: The Unridden Horse - Improving Connection and Communication with Your Horse

Your beliefs impact your confidence and self-image, shaping how you see yourself as a rider. Choose your beliefs, instead of allowing unhelpful beliefs to shape a limiting perspective of who you are and what you are capable of. Photo: Pam Mackenzie Photography

The interesting thing is that, of course, the human in the horse-human partnership matters quite a bit. An individual’s ability to work with and train horses is vastly improved by integrating self-knowledge when problem-solving training challenges. Research now shows that horses are so tuned in to the humans they interact with that they smell our emotions, read facial expressions, and respond immediately to changes in their human’s nervous system. Recognising this, it becomes clear that the inner state of the human has a direct and sizeable impact on the horse. Sometimes, the problem you are trying to fix by changing your horse is solved more effectively by checking in with your own thoughts and emotions so that you can make changes within yourself. Having self-knowledge helps you understand your inner experience and become skilled at recognising when your thoughts, emotions, or tension are impacting your horse.

Examples of helpful inner states while riding are calm, patient, curious, trusting, positive, and attentive. When our self-knowledge is low, we may not recognise when we are in an unhelpful inner state or know how to accessa  helpful one.

Here are three foundational areas of self-knowledge you can start building today to manage your inner state more skilfully and ensure it is not interfering with your ride. 

Emotional Triggers

What are the situations, environments, and events that trigger negative or big emotional reactions? For example, some riders find that having people watch them ride triggers anxiety, embarrassment, and a loss of focus. Getting a refusal on a jump course could be a powerful trigger for frustration, self-directed anger, and discouragement. Reflect on events or circumstances that produce powerful, unhelpful emotional reactions and use this awareness to help yourself be more mindful of the emotions impacting your ride. Ask yourself how would you choose to respond to those triggers, now that you are aware of them? 

Tools to emotionally regulate: 

1. Mindfulness: Bring yourself back to the present moment by tuning into your breathing. You can also focus in on sensory input, such as how the reins feel in your hands, or feeling where your body is in contact with the horse, to help anchor yourself to the present moment. 

2. Reframe: Changing your thinking changes how you feel. Is the story you’re telling yourself helpful or is it stirring up your emotions further? Consider looking for a different perspective on what is happening. 

Related: Understanding and Managing Injuries in Horses and Riders

Related: Succeeding as an Equestrian Takes Knowledge and Motivation

Patterns of Self-Talk

How do you speak to yourself in different situations? Many riders default to highly critical self-talk when they are unhappy with their performance. Once aware of this, you can begin to replace emotional self-talk (That was terrible, my riding was garbage!) with a non-judgemental analysis of what happened and how to improve it (That didn’t work the way I wanted it to — I think I lost the quality of my canter. When I try it again, I’m going to focus on getting the canter before I begin.) The more aware we are of our inner dialogue, the more opportunities we have to shape it positively. When you are mean and critical of yourself, you create negative emotion and tension which can impact your horse and training. Being compassionate and supportive of yourself helps you stay calm, positive, and patient. 

Tools to shape self-talk:

1. Create a friendly voice in your head that will offer calm, positive, helpful feedback on whatever you are doing. 

2. Self-talk doesn’t have to be happy to be helpful. Don’t worry about being upbeat in your inner narrative if that doesn’t feel natural. Instead, shape your self-talk to be honest, empathetic, and solution-focused.

Personal Beliefs

What story is shaping how you see yourself as a rider? Your beliefs have a huge impact on your confidence and self-image. Limiting beliefs can trigger big emotions and generate negative self-talk if we aren’t aware of them. For example, if a rider believes they are not supposed to make mistakes, then every mistake will likely result in negative emotion and critical self-talk. You can choose your beliefs, instead of allowing unhelpful beliefs to shape a limiting perspective of who you are and what you are capable of. 

Tools to choose your beliefs:

1. Write down the core beliefs of your choice that will form the foundation of how you want to approach working with your horse moving forward. Deciding on these ahead of time means you can remind yourself of them in important moments such as training challenges and after mistakes or setbacks. This will help you manage your emotions and self-talk and reduce tension. 

2. Establish a list of personal values or principles of high importance such as honesty, professionalism, connection, or fun that reflect what is most important to you in your work with horses. Knowing this list well helps us to take back control over the story of who we are and what we are working towards.

Knowing your own emotional triggers, patterns of self-talk, and personal beliefs/values gives you a clearer understanding of who you are and creates opportunities to step into the best possible version of yourself while working with your horses. Integrating this self-knowledge into your approach means practicing focusing on yourself at times in order to assess your inner state and consider how it may be impacting the horse or the training.

Imagine if you could maintain an inner state of calm, patience, positivity and curiosity in the majority of your rides? How do you think that would impact your training and your relationship with your horse? The good news is that this is very possible, and increasing self-knowledge is the first step towards being able to be more in control of that inner state. I encourage you to pursue learning about yourself with the same passion you likely bring to learning about your horse! What you discover will open the door to greater confidence, faster learning, and a stronger relationship with your horse. 

Related: Why Curiosity is an Essential Mindset in the Saddle - Psychology for Equestrians

Related: Equestrian Psychology - Remain Calm and Ride On

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Main Photo: Shutterstock/JJ Stock Studio